Almost Forgotten the beauty of Katherine Linn Sage, surrealist artist and born in New York.

Almost Forgotten the beauty of Katherine Linn Sage, surrealist artist and born in New York.

Dorothea Tanning

Jacek Yerka

ADDICTED TO SADNESS

Sadness is a very intense feeling that occurs naturally in human beings. It is is a basic emotion that we all feel at various times in our lives. Sometimes depression manifests itself as a deep and lasting sadness, but it is just as common for depressed people to feel simply "numb."  Depression sometimes feels like the absence of emotions.  For those suffering from depression, life has no joy or no deep sadness – just numbness.

As I get older, I feel that time passes more and more quickly so I also think being sad has its bright side. I have discovered that I love sad and melancholic music. Being in a sad mood sometime makes me to think and see things more clearly. Psychologist Joseph Forgas of the University of New South Wales in Sydney says “Don’t worry, be sad!” One of his investigations found that people in sad moods have an advantage in remembering the details of unusual incidents that they have witnessed. Negative moods increase one’s analytical thinking. Many beautiful pieces of art have been created by people who were experiencing profound feelings of sadness. 

However, if sadness lingers too long to the point that a person does not see the light at the end of the tunnel and makes them incapable of facing the adversities of life then that individual has a problem with depression. Depression is a disease very different from sadness. Clinical depression requires the understanding of the disease from the person’s point of view. Prolong feelings of depression include fatigue, lack of interest in living, not experiencing pleasure from life, insomnia, feelings of guilt, or sudden loss or gain of weight. It is common also to feel “numb” or to lose the ability to experience life’s pleasures.  

I believe feelings of sadness sometimes can become addictive and some people become comfortable or complacent feeling sorry for themselves and for everyone around them. Obviously if you listen to sad music or watch a tragedies on television, you are more included to feel sad mood and these acts reinforce one’s addiction to sadness.  

There have been a number of events in my life recently that have catapulted me into deep stages of sadness including the death of my mother who was my best friend and strongest supporter. It seems to me that there is always something or someone who causes me to become sad during the last year or so.  During this time, I have experienced long episodes of sadness focusing on the lives of dead friends and relatives instead of concentrating on all the good things taking place and all my friends and family who are still alive.  Those who love me try to help me celebrate life's successes and support me during these difficult times.

For some people, feeling sad is an easier way to avoid the real problems of life, instead of facing them directly.  I compare people who enjoy their misery with pigs enjoying playing in the mud for pleasure. If we feel sorry for ourselves then people will feel sorry for us. Sadness is not a disease and it could be also our major enemy if we habitually make it part of our lives. Getting caught in a vicious cycle in which we lose interest in all the good things in life whenever bad things happen can play very awful tricks in our brains.

As for myself, I have been trying to understand why I feel comfortable being sad and that it is not simply a choice or a bad a habit but an unavoidable part of life. Sometimes the sad episodes in my life last for a very long time so that I forget what joy is and sadness becomes the norm – not the exception.  

There are daily battles that each of us must face. Life is a desperate confrontation with unknown forces that we have to overcome instead of falling for the excuse of feeling sad or unhappy and doing nothing to combat these invisible forces. Battling sadness is a daily exercise we all must do otherwise deep depression will set in. Just accepting these facts of life increases my mental sanity. I want to strive to overcome sadness instead of remaining negative, unable to act, feeling victimized and helpless.

Connecting with people and cultivating good friends can be an arduous task but it will result in a positive outcome if you don’t give in to sadness ruling your life. If the problem is lacking a good friend or soul mate, I suggest finding someone with similar problems and you can be there for each other. 

You do have a choice in life. You can allow yourself to be addicted to sadness and wallow in your own suffering while your life slowly passes by or you can stand up to this invisible mental foe and learn to savor life’s many forms of joy and happiness.  Will you still be sad from time to time? Of course, but don’t let sadness rule your life instead let it be just a natural and temporary part of life.

Yilva Kalmanson